Wednesday, May 23, 2007
I really want someone to explain to me why the hell there are police officers on horseback in New York City. I've been thinking about this all morning—okay, for about 15 minutes—and I can't see the logic in it.
First, they're Fucking Horses in New York City. Which makes no sense. While Central Park may have a decent chunk of natural landscape, not so much that you need the friggin' cavalry.
Second, they shit everywhere. Why I should have to dodge massive mounds of hay-strewn feces on my way to work—which is not on a farm, mind you—is beyond me. The New York's Finest are keeping your city clean...so their giant method of transportation can poop all over it.
Third, they can't be cheap to stable. Those nags can eat. Are they any cheaper than a good motocross bike? Yes, I know motorcycles wouldn't help the enviornmental conditions in New York. But see point No. 2: shit boulders.
Fourth, they are animals with minds of their own. Who may not feel like engaging in a criminal pursuit. And let's say this is an armed criminal, who decides to take a shot or two at the mountie. Now two creatures with free will have to decide to continue the chase, as opposed to one dude on a Honda. (And this chase, mind you, is being executed on a beast who's tiny piggies are designed for almost every other kind of terrain besides asphalt.)
I'm sure there are some who call it tradition, a throwback to a simpler, stinkier time. And tradition is fine...in moderation. But when tradition gives way to a total ignoring of fiscal logic and peacekeeping methodology, that's when I call horseshit.
at 2:19 PM