Wednesday, December 05, 2007

What Is Best In Life?

I've been watching movies for a good portion of my life. As have we all, I'm sure. And in that time, I've figured out for myself what works for me in a film and what doesn't. And I've boiled it down to a pretty simple list of three things that a film must have for me to like it. Said movie doesn't have to have all three, but at least one will suffice.

And they are:
1: Explosions
2: Gratuitous nudity
3: Lasers
3a: Ninjas are the lasers of feudal Japan. (Otherwise known as the Last Samurai amendment.)

Now, have I liked films that didn't have any of the above? Yes, but, they had to work extra hard to get over the no-explosions-nudity-lasers hump. And have I seen shitty movies that have had all three, and in abundance? Damned skippy. (Flesh Gordon, I'm looking at you.)

But that's my code of cinematic conduct, and it hasn't failed me yet.


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Ken Lowery said...

So, your autobiography should probably be called KISS KISS BANG BANG, then. Or perhaps KISS KISS PEW PEW.