Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I Must Break Him

Something occured to me the other day:

If I was single, and still living in the New York metropolitan area, and if he was single, and still the anchor of The Daily Show...I would have to kill Jon Stewart.

Or, at the very least, choke him into a coma. Because he would be taking all the women. All of them.



Stephen Benson said...

i have always taken comfort in knowing, deep in my soul, that the reason any actor who finds himself able to play a mediocre guitar and has the funds to hire pros starts a band. they know that it's the musicians who get all the women. rogers noticed it when he was playing main rooms in nevada and losing chicks to the musicians playing the caberets. don't know why it is, but it is. when i was about 14 i looked into the mirror and told myself "dude, if you don't learn to play an electric guitar, you're never getting laid." some of the worst things i have done musically involved being in an actor's band. once, while leaving a redlands showcase gig where i played for the ritchie valens dude who decided that he was going to start a band and get laid like us he asked me "so, what's your professional opinion, do i have it?" i tried to be diplomatic, "you're as good as keanu reeves." i left out that he was better than busey, or the airwoof dude, but not as good as dennis quaid.

marc bernardin said...

maybe the key is starting a band later...cause I was the lead singer of a high school band, and got laid only because I already had a girlfriend. The mythical throwing of panties never happened. And we even had a song called "Holding My Penis is Such a Good Way To Show How Much You Like Me."

Of course, the fact that we sucked may have had something to do with it.